Do you aspire to be more likable? Sometimes, being well-liked doesn’t come naturally, but the good news is that likability is a skill you can cultivate. Here are three effective ways to enhance your likability:

1. Active Listening: One of our most profound desires is to establish meaningful connections with others. This not only brings joy but also contributes to our overall well-being. Research by Steve Cole has linked strong social bonds to improved immune function and even increased lifespan. Building these valuable bonds requires full engagement with others, which means actively listening and understanding. Practical steps include paraphrasing, asking insightful questions, and providing relevant feedback. By being fully present in conversations, you offer people the opportunity to share their experiences completely with you. As Pasternak wrote in “Dr. Zhivago,” “an unshared happiness is not happiness.”
2. Acknowledging Others’ Significance: It’s natural to have moments when we question our significance in others’ lives, fearing that we may not matter to them. This feeling can arise when we don’t receive the recognition we expected at work or when our efforts aren’t appreciated by friends or loved ones. People tend to like those who genuinely acknowledge their impact, both in their lives and the lives of others. Try expressing your appreciation or admiration for friends or colleagues. You can highlight their qualities such as initiative, honesty, kindness, or maturity. By doing so, you remind them of their importance, which can lead to them liking you even more.
3. Maintaining Positivity: A happier life is one filled with positive experiences. Even a day filled with luxury, fun, and excitement can turn negative if we don’t practice positivity. Behaviors like criticism and complaining can drain the positivity from any situation, leaving us feeling restricted and frustrated. Opting for a positive perspective, on the other hand, invites others to embrace the best of what’s available. This fosters feelings of hope, excitement, and creativity. Providing others with this uplifting experience makes you an inspiring and likable presence. In fact, Barbara Fredrickson’s 2008 study linked a positive focus to a more open mind and a greater sense of possibility.

In Conclusion: Becoming more likeable is a skill that demands discipline. You’ll need to resist the temptation of negativity, put your phone away, and engage in active listening. Not only will this help you become more likeable, but it will also enhance your self-awareness, benefiting both you and your relationships.